4 Signs You're the Older Brother in the Parable of the Prodigal Son

The older brother's sin is just as devastating.

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Luke 15 contains three parables Jesus told to the religious leaders because they complained about Him receiving and eating with sinners.

The first is about a lost sheep, the second is about a lost coin, and the third - while the focus is usually placed on the “prodigal” younger son - is really about the lost spiritual condition of both sons.

The younger brother’s lost condition is evident to anyone who reads the Lord’s parable - but the older brother’s lost condition sometimes escapes our attention.

Maybe that’s because the older brother tends to describe some of us.

I read the following four points about those who are like the older brother from Timothy Keller’s book, The Prodigal God. I think these points from the Lord’s parable give us a much-needed look in the mirror of God’s word (James 1:22-25).

You believe you deserve a good life for obeying God.

The older brother becomes “angry” (Luke 15:28) and refuses to join the celebration for his once-lost brother. His words to the father are full of bitterness and resentment.

Part of the reason for this is that what the father was doing for the younger brother didn’t fit with the older brother’s view of life.

Elder brothers believe if they live a good life they should get a good life, that God owes them a smooth road if they try very hard to live up to standards. - Keller, The Prodigal God, 57

If older brothers see someone else doing better than them, they will grow resentful and think, “Why them? Why not me? And after everything I’ve done, too!”

The older brother’s obedience is done to try to control their life. It’s not about doing what’s right out of love for what’s good and right - but to get what they want. This makes the older brother remarkably like the younger brother.

You have a strong sense of your own superiority.

The older brother quickly points out his better moral record to the father.

I never transgressed your commandment at any time…But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots… (Luke 15:29-30)

Older brothers base their self-image on things like being hard-working, their own moral record, or the group they are a part of. They feel superior to anyone not like themselves. Racism and classism are different forms of this same sense of superiority.

[People] who are no longer sure that God loves and accepts them in Jesus, apart from their present spiritual achievements, are subconsciously radically insecure persons…Their insecurity shows itself in pride, a fierce, defensive assertion of their own righteousness, and defensive criticism of others. They come naturally to hate other cultural styles and other races in order to bolster their own security and discharge their suppressed anger. - Lovelace, The Dynamics of Spiritual Life, 212

This sense of superiority is grounded in “I do it better” or “I am better.”

Because the older brother saw himself as “better” than his younger brother, he refused to forgive his brother and celebrate his return as their father did. He did not see himself as being part of the group of “sinners” like his brother.

You obey God out of fear and without joy.

The older brother’s attitude slips out when he tells the father that he has been working for him “like a slave” (Luke 15:29 - NET) for many years.

Certainly we must serve God - but there should also be joy and love in our obedience (John 14:15). For the older brother, serving the father is “slave work.”

The word “slave” has strong overtones of being forced or pushed rather than drawn or attracted. A slave works out of fear - fear of consequences imposed by force. This gets to the root of what drives an elder brother. Ultimately, elder brother live good lives out of fear, not out of joy and love. - Keller, The Prodigal God, 66

The older brother was only living a moral life for his own benefit - to avoid the consequences. His life was self-centered, just like his younger brother had lived.

Older brother may do many good deeds to help others - but ultimately, it’s all for himself, to benefit himself, to spare himself.

You lack assurance of God’s love.

The older brother tells the father: “You never threw me a celebration” (Luke 15:29).

As long as you are trying to earn your salvation by controlling God through goodness, you will never be sure you have been good enough for him. You simply aren’t sure God loves and delights in you. - Keller, The Prodigal God, 71-72

Some signs you lack assurance of God’s love include:

• Whenever something goes wrong in your life, you wonder if you aren’t being good enough.

• You need the approval of others to increase your self-worth - while criticism from others devastates you.

• When you do something wrong, you’re tormented by guilt and aren’t sure you’ve repented deeply enough.

• A dry prayer life.

Why Is This So Important?

While the younger brother realized he was lost and separated from his father, the older brother did not know his true condition. Why would you go to the doctor if you don’t know you’re deadly ill? (Mark 2:17).

Also, we need to recognize that many “younger brothers” have “left home” - in part - because of the attitude of “older brothers.”

It is natural for younger brothers to think that elder brotherness and Christianity are exactly the same thing. But Jesus says they are not. In his parable, Jesus deconstructs the religiosity that is one of the main problems with the world. In this parable Jesus says to us, “Would you please be open to the possibility that the gospel, real Christianity, is something very different from religion [religious moralism]?” - Keller, The Prodigal God, 78-79

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Jesus describes the paths the younger and older brothers followed as dead ends. Jesus challenges both groups to seek a different path - to come to the Father through Him.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. (John 14:6)