What Did Jesus Teach About Divorce?
From the Sermon on the Mount.
Divorce is a problem - especially in the United States.
Almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation. The United States has the 6th highest divorce rate in the world. Lack of commitment is the most common reason given by divorcing couples according to a recent national survey - From wf-lawyers.com
Because so many people have been hurt by divorce, and because so many people also want to do whatever they want when it comes to relationships - it’s easy to gloss over what Jesus taught about divorce.
However, the gospel of Jesus is concerned about every part of our lives - not just the parts we pick and choose.
What did Jesus teach regarding divorce?
"Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32)
What did the law of Moses say about divorce?
Jesus referred back to what was written in the law of Moses, so we would do well to refresh our minds with what that passage says.
When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man's wife, if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance. (Deuteronomy 24:1-4)
It’s vital to notice that this passage says nothing about adultery as grounds for divorce because, under the law of Moses, the punishment for adultery was death (Leviticus 20:10). If someone cheated on their spouse, the marriage would be ended because the person would be put to death.
God’s purpose in giving the command about divorce in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 was to control divorce. Back in that time, most men held a shallow view of women - many cultures treated women as pieces of property.
God put this law in place to control divorce and protect women who were being horribly mistreated.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 gave three principles about divorce to the children of Israel.
Divorce was limited to specific causes. “Uncleanness” was a charge that had to be proved and established in the sight of at least two witnesses. This would eliminate all divorces for unfair reasons or just because someone was tired of the relationship.
Any man who divorced his wife had to give her a certificate of divorce. The reason for divorce would be given in this document, which legally protected the woman from anyone being able to claim she committed adultery. Making divorce a serious legal proceeding should have impressed upon the people the seriousness of getting a divorce.
The man who divorced his wife would never be able to marry her again. This separation would be permanent - the man couldn’t change his mind later. He would not be able to marry her again.
The point of this law was to bring order to a chaotic situation that had developed and to provide protection for the women and children who suffered the most.
What did the scribes and Pharisees teach about divorce?
The scribes and Pharisees taught something about divorce that avoided what God’s law really said.
They actually taught that, if a man ceased to like his wife, or for any reason found her to be unsatisfactory to him, that, in a sense, was “uncleanness.” The only one factor that really mattered to these men, and that was the legal one of giving a bill of divorcement. They were very punctilious about that, as they were careful about other legal details. They did not, however, state why they were divorcing her. That was unimportant. - Lloyd-Jones, Studies in the Sermon on the Mount, 226.
As you can see, what the scribes and Pharisees taught went around what God’s law really said in Deuteronomy 24:1-4. Where God brought divorce under control, the scribes and Pharisees created more chaos through their interpretations and traditions.
What did Jesus teach about divorce?
When we pair Matthew 19:3-9 with what the Lord said in the Sermon on the Mount, we have a fuller explanation of the Lord’s teaching about divorce.
The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"
And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE,' and said, 'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"
He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." (Matthew 19:3-9)
Jesus emphasized three main principles about divorce.
He taught the importance of marriage. Jesus referred to the very beginning of what God intended for marriage (Genesis 2:23-25). One man and one woman becoming one flesh and not breaking that bond was God’s intention for marriage from the beginning.
God does not command divorce. While divorce was permitted under the law of Moses under certain conditions, God' did not command it. In fact, right before Jesus is questioned in Matthew 19 about divorce, He taught about the importance of forgiveness (Matthew 18:21-35). Jesus does not teach that a person must divorce their spouse if they cheat.
The only reason for divorce is sexual immorality (better translated as “fornication”). The only grounds for divorce and marrying someone else is if your husband or wife has sex with someone else. To do this is to break the “one flesh” bond between husband and wife (1 Corinthians 6:16). Jesus teaches that divorce is permitted in this case, but it is not commanded.
Jesus shows Himself to be the great Law-Giver. He has “all authority” (Matthew 28:18). He is “Lord” (Acts 2:36).
I think it’s important to remember that adultery - while a terrible sin that hurts many people - can be forgiven. Adulterers have not sinned so terribly to remove themselves from the love and forgiveness of God.
All who repent and turn to God will be forgiven - washed in the blood of the Lamb (Acts 22:16; 1 John 1:5-10).
This is what the Lord taught about divorce.
It is very different than what we hear in our society today, but it is the Lord’s way.
Marriage is so important, and God’s Word reflects that fact. Will we accept and live our lives by what Jesus taught?