To My Kids: I Care About What You Think of Me
Because ultimately it's a reflection on the job I did as a father.
To everyone who made it past the cute picture of my kids:
While I suppose I do care what people think of me, it’s not a significant concern of mine what people who have only known me for a little while think of me. Whenever my life on this earth is over, what so-and-so who knew me briefly thought of me is not that big of a concern
However, what my children ultimately think of me matters very much to me. I’m sure they won’t always like me. I’ve made mistakes before, and I’m sure I’ll make more despite my best efforts. My kids may make some decisions that I may have to take a stand and tell them that while I love them, they are wrong.
What they think of me will partly be a reflection of who I was as a father, a husband to their mother, and as a man.
And that matters very much to me.
I’ve wanted to write something that may be helpful to my kids down the road of life. So hopefully once a week or so these articles will be a resource to them later in life.
And you’re welcome to come along for the ride if you like.
I’ve had my doubts about sharing these thoughts online with other people.
But as I’ve been learning more as a writer, something that continues to be emphasized by the people I’m learning from is “practice in public.”
Maybe the things I plan to share will be helpful to your kids or grandkids. Maybe they will be helpful to other dads out there as well. Who knows? Writing in public like this is also a way to help keep me accountable - if people come to expect one of these articles each week, that provides additional motivation for me to keep going.
So in spite of my doubts, I’m going to press forward with this idea.
To my kids:
Maybe it’s a little strange to write this first letter about what you think of me.
Maybe that means I’m too focused on myself when I should focus more on others. If so, know that’s something I keep working on.
But I also know that you and I are inseparably linked. The job I do as a father will play a role in your life - for better or worse. And so, when I write about what you think of me, I’m simultaneously taking a long look at the job I’m doing as your dad.
And that’s what I hope these letters become - not a replacement for the job I’m supposed to be doing, but as reinforcements to your raising.
I plan to be open and transparent with these letters. Because if I kept all the most difficult lessons to myself, what would I really be teaching you?
I would be teaching you to bottle things up inside and try to deal with it all on your own - which is something I’ve done too many times and isn’t healthy at all.
So I’ll be sharing my experiences and some things I’ve learned, in the hope that I can continue to help you long after I’m gone.
Until the next time.
Love, Dad.